As I sit here and watch you sleep your little heart away during your afternoon nap and think about how you're a few weeks away from 2 months old, I have a lot running through my mind. I go back to work tomorrow, a few hours away from spending the first 7 weeks of your life together every single day, to seeing you around 6pm at night Monday-Friday until you go to sleep, my heart aches and my eyes fill with tears. You were the gift from God that I had prayed for, begged for, ached for. I couldn't be more thankful and feel more blessed that He allowed your father and I to be your parents.
I have a few promises I want you to know about as you grow older.
I promise to always be in your corner, within reason of course, but I will always be your number one fan.
I promise to be a mother first. I know there will be moms who are "cool" because they let their sons stay out till 3 am, doing God knows what, or even allow the God knows what happen in their own homes, but know.. I won't be that mother. We will be friends, yes, but I will be your parent FIRST.
I promise to comfort you anytime you feel frightened, worried, concerned, etc.
I promise to work the best I can to raise you into the man I know you will be.
I promise to listen to you, pay attention, hear you, understand you.
I promise to remember to walk in your shoes. Your father and I both. We've been through so much as individuals and lived and learned, but I also know you will need to experience situations as well.
I promise to not pressure you into any sports, academics, lifestyle, etc. You are a part of us, you are always accepted.
I promise to encourage adventure, encourage experiences, and let go of my fears as your mother.
I promise to believe in your dreams and do everything in my power to help you pursue them, no matter the limit or the funds. You come from a family of dreamers, believers, and doers, and I would expect nothing less.
I promise to keep you safe. There will be times where you get mad and think I'm so unfair, but know, if at anytime you are in harms way, I won't allow it.
I promise to lead zero judgement when you make mistakes. You're only human, and once again, you come from your father and I. Mistakes are much expected.
I promise to be honest. My opinions matter to you, and I will respect that. Whether sometimes it's what you want to hear, or not.
I promise to love you unconditionally. There will be times when you won't want your Mom near, and believe me, I had those moments with my parents, but they always loved me significantly and hard, and I promise to share that love with you.
I want so badly to be the stay at home mom that gets every second with you, I'm selfish in that way, I am, but I also grew up my whole life wanting to be a teacher, and that is just what I became. Like I said before, you come from parents who are dreamers, I always dreamed of making a difference. I hope you understand this, and admire what I do. It's the hardest thing I have ever had to do, going back to work, but remember everything we do, we do for you. It's no longer about me, or your father, it's about you and your dreams. It's about making sure you have a life that is exactly what you want.